Living Up to Potential

New Direction

2009-05-13T18:10:00.003-02:00

So I am tired of posting things I know no one will care about or benefit from. I have decided to take this blog in a new direction, with a new name (formerly "Trouble Breathing") and new standards for my posts. From now on, I'll try to actually give you something of substance...

So today, I think I will share something simple. I have been fortunate enough to work at MacDonald Advertising Services for the past year, and I write — among other things — sales articles for newspaper call centers. One of the columns I write is called Lead Lines, and it is specifically for managers. Well today, I updated it with an article on basic leadership qualities. I think everyone can benefit from improving in these areas. Take a look:

The Basic Top Ten: The qualities leaders should learn and cultivate

For managers who sometimes wonder if they have what it takes to lead their team, they might find the answer in “The Top Ten Leadership Qualities” by David Hakala at hrworld.com. The following qualities will help managers lead employees to success:

1. Vision. “A clear, vivid picture of where to go, as well as a firm grasp on what success looks like and how to achieve it,” is how Hakala describes vision. Good sales managers must also have the ability to his or her vision. Also, he or she must have the drive to act on vision.

2. Integrity. The consistent application of inner values to outward acts is integrity.

3. Dedication. Natural-born leaders spend whatever time or energy is necessary to accomplish tasks. They also bring out this quality in their team.

4. Magnanimity. This means giving credit to those who deserve it. Also, it means taking responsibility for failures.

5. Humility. “A humble leader is not self-effacing but rather tries to elevate everyone. Leaders with humility also understand that their status does not make them a god,” Hakala writes.

6. Openness. Sales managers should try to listen to new ideas, even if they do not come from a traditional way of thinking.

7. Creativity. Problem solving is an important skill of leaders, and being creative certainly helps.

8. Fairness. Managers must strive to always treat others justly and equally. Checking all the facts, hearing everyone out, avoiding leaping to conclusions and gathering complete evidence before passing judgment are ways to be fair.

9. Assertiveness. “It is the ability to clearly state what one expects so that there will be no misunderstandings,” explains Hakala.

10. Sense of humor. This may be a surprise to some managers, but the ability to relieve tension, defuse hostility and fight boredom with a sense of humor increases productivity and effective leadership.

“Intrinsic traits such as intelligence, good looks, height and so on are not necessary to become a leader. Anyone can cultivate the proper leadership traits,” Hakala concludes. Please comment and tell me what you think of these qualities, and if there are any that were not mentioned that you think are important!

I Hate Being Sick!!

2009-05-13T16:11:00.002-02:00

After waking up with a sore throat Sunday morning, I have been feeling worse and worse. I didn't go in to work yesterday and went to the doctor, thinking they would probably test me for swine flu since I have the symptoms. Well they didn't, so I was disappointed haha. If you're going to be so sick you might as well have some weird disease like swine flu! But I think the doctor just kind of guessed with me, and didn't think I was as sick as I am, since I don't get fevers. Ever. It's really weird- I've been sick many times but haven't had a fever since I was a baby. So that probably threw him. Whatever.

He also didn't really examine me very well. He said my chest sounded clear, even though I've been wheezing and hacking up ... stuff... for a while. He also didn't look in my ears or nose. Makes me question his medical competence... Anyway, it didn't bother me much because he pretty much did all he could for me- just gave me an antibiotic and told me to rest.

He did say that it was fine for me to come back to work, but I am worried about getting others sick. I came in this afternoon (I felt really bad this morning), though, since I pretty much just sit alone at my desk all day. Hopefully no one will be around to catch what I've got. I still feel pretty feverish and congested, but I'm starting to feel better, not as achy. God I hate being sick.

Lazy Weekend...

2009-05-11T10:33:00.004-02:00

Maybe it was all the stress from finals week.... I didn't mean to stay in bed all weekend and do absolutely nothing! Well, almost nothing. Friday night I went to a friend's house to have a couple of drinks and watch movies. Saturday I did almost nothing, but I did go to Wal-Mart and get some stuff I needed- at 11:00 p.m. And then Sunday I stayed home except for about an hour I spent walking with my friend. Although most of that time was just spent sitting on swings and gossiping about her roommate.

I felt awful this weekend because I probably spent more time laying in bed reading, sleeping, or watching movies than I did out of it. And most of the time I spent out of bed was spent at my computer watching Arrested Development or the Simpsons. I had even planned on going to work out and cleaning up the house. I did a little bit of laundry, but that's pretty much it. I have been sleeping with the window open in my bedroom because it's been so nice outside, but Saturday night it got kind of cold and I woke up with a killer sore throat. I've been coughing ever since, so that contributed to my laziness yesterday.

Maybe I deserved to relax a bit after the end of the semester, but I really wanted to be productive this weekend because I'd been coming home in the afternoons and napping last week. Oh well, today I woke up extra early (b'c I couldn't sleep at all last night), and I'm starting the week off right. I will get all of my errands done this afternoon after work, and then come home and do some cleaning. I always feel much better when I get things accomplished instead of laying around being lazy. I'll hold off on working out until I stop coughing.

Oh yeah, and the baby robins on my porch hatched! They're so cute!

I Did It!

2009-05-08T19:57:00.003-02:00

I decided to join the Peace Corps!!! I waited a long time to apply because I wasn't sure if I was ready to make a 2 year commitment, but I've been thinking about it- and I am! I'm excited to do so actually! I've been thinking about this as a post-graduation option since my freshman year, and now it's finally time to follow through with it!

This is the perfect option for me because I'm very volunteer-minded. I love to help others, and I place compassion and kindness among the most important values in life. I am also really flexible- I can adapt to almost anything, so I'm confident that I'll get on fine wherever they send me! Also, I love, love, love learning about other cultures. And I'm really interested in learning other languages. I already have some French experience, but it would be great to get even more- or even to get to learn a new language. I am a little worried about being able to stay healthy, but as long as I keep up with my asthma medication, it's not a problem here, so we'll see I guess.

I broke up with my fiance and put my dog to sleep, so the two things that were keeping me here are no longer here. It's weird that I'm happy about that lol.

Homework Hangover

2009-04-29T10:22:00.002-02:00

I sat in front of my computer last night from 8:30 p.m. to 1:30 a.m. and got out two paragraphs. Short ones. Gah.

The paper I'm writing is on a simple, easy subject with simple, easy guidelines. Feminism in Thelma and Louise. But for some reason I just couldn't focus last night. I couldn't spit anything out. I'm a little burned out, but it's still too early in the week for that nonsense. I still have my Fables paper to write, my tough French Lit Final to finish and turn in, my FILM PAPER that's due today at 3:30 (I'll have exactly an hour to finish it today between classes....) my Poetry critique, and my Poetry portfolio to finish up.

I'm not liking the fact that I have a homework hangover right now. Shaky, foggy, forgetful, and tired, but I didn't even have any fun last night. Well, except for the stupid text messages to and from friends who were in the same boat. That was entertaining. I can't even do anything fun in this post and create a self-prescribed homework hangover cure, because I won't have time tonight to do anything fun. So instead I'll take the advice from my last post:

Final Projects Finished (or almost)

P0nge paper DONE!
Movie watched for Film paper
Thesis written for Film paper
Line notes made for Poetry critique
First 1/3 of Fables done
Half of Poetry critique

The Reverse To-Do List: the Done List

2009-04-24T13:26:00.002-02:00

I am a busy woman! I am trying to find a job, trying to revamp my lifestyle to get healthier, trying to spend more time with friends, trying to excel at my current job, trying to keep my grades up and trying to do the million things that go a long with graduating this summer. I get a lot of things done throughout the day, but now and then I can feel overwhelmed and feel like I'm not making any progress.

So I was reading an article about how to get out of a rut, and saw the idea to make a list and only put the things that have been accomplished on it. Instead of having a million things to do, and then checking them off, maybe today I'll make a list of the million things I've already done and admire my progress. It might make me feel better and make that panicky feeling in my chest subside. At least for a little while.

This is the article, I found it while searching for sales articles at work.

I Really Need This Internship

2009-04-19T19:00:00.005-02:00

I interviewed Friday for an Editorial Internship at Sunrise Greetings down in Bloomington. It seems like a great company, and it's full time with very decent pay. I am really excited. I got good vibes in my interview, but today they sent an e-mail asking for more writing samples to evaluate, so I don't have it yet.

I ran into TONS of traffic coming out of Lafayette, so I was really late. I was burning 90 almost the whole way down, when I could, which I absolutely hate. I hate speeding, and I hate driving aggressively, but I did both in order to try to get there as soon as possible. Anyway, my poor car ('89 Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight) is making this really loud growling noise now whenever I drive it, especially when I accelerate. I rely very much on that car, so I really hope it's something easy and cheap to fix. In Lafayette, I guess it's not a big deal if I don't have a car - I didn't have on last summer. Between my close proximity to work, downtown, and campus and the city buses I was good. But if I move to Bloomington, which I need to because I need to keep moving forward, and HAVE to work, I will definitely need my car.

So I need this job because I really need the money, and I really need more experience to help with finding a job in August when I graduate. I would be making a big move on a very tiny (almost non-existent) budget, but I know it will be worth it. I saw two butterflies Friday before I went to my interview... in Haitian culture that's a good omen.

Update: Didn't get it. :( Still looking for a summer gig.

Me? A Leader?

2009-04-15T13:21:00.003-02:00

In searching for sales articles today I came across an interesting one at Business Know-How about leadership. I've never really considered myself management material or a leader, but I think it's just because I'm only starting out in life. Also, I tend to center around others and not myself, which I've always considered a valuable quality to have. Anyway, the article, "A Surprising Way to Overcome Adversity," talked about how the best way to be a great leader is to lift others up higher than yourself. The goal of a leader is to make others great, even greater than themselves. This sounds like something I might be good at.

Carpe Nocturne

2009-04-03T12:31:00.002-02:00

Last night was great. Kim, Janice and I went to the Cactus, and then I met up later with one of my friends and hung out until early this morning. The only problem is that I had to be at work at 7:30 this morning. Usually I am off Friday mornings, but I had to switch my schedule around (which I found out was in vain), so I am here at work today.

I'm dead tired, I got maybe two hours of sleep, but I think it was worth it. It wasn't something I do all the time, it's just me being young every now and then. I'm graduating soon! And they're all graduating even sooner!! I need to spend as much time as possible with my friends, because in a few months we'll all be split up :(

I was at least smart enough to not drink last night, so my body doesn't feel sick, just worn out. We did a lot of dancing, laughing, and being crazy last night. It was a blast. I love my friends. I hope I can stay in touch with them after graduation. If I were 100% responsible, I wouldn't have gone out because of money and time-management. But if I were 100% responsible, I might not have nearly as much fun as I do.

Hair

2009-03-30T22:02:00.004-02:00

I have a very intense love/hate relationship with my hair. Being a low maintenance girl, it does not bode well for me having "ethnic" hair, since it's very high maintenance. I don't relax my hair, which is also time-saving and time-consuming at once. It saves a semi-monthly trip to the salon and about $65, but it makes it take longer to style my hair. I can't just wake up, wash it, and go. I can't even just wake up, not wash it, and go. If I want it to be straight, I have to invest 3-5 hours (depending on how many breaks I take) to work on it at least once a week. In between that, though, it is extremely curly. It's also extremely frizzy unless I baby it. I have to wet my hair down (not wash it, I can only do that once per week), oil it up, and use my well-learned skill of bobby pin magic to tame it. I usually do twists going back, or just pin it back and keep it poofy on top with a bandana or scarf wrapped around like a head band. Oh yeah, I'm biracial by the way.

My curls are awesome, but they are demanding. They have to stay conditioned and well-oiled, and well-combed out (another ten-minute trial in itself every morning in the shower), or they are... scary. I mean, SCARY. I've broken down and cried a few times when combing my hair, not because it hurts (but it really does a lot), but because it's just sooo overwhelming. Even stylists who do black hair have made the comment countless times, "girl, you've got a lot of hair!" "Yes. Yes, I do," I say, "Now get back to pressing it." And let's not even talk about rain, sweat, dew, mist, swimming pools, or any other kind of moisture. When it's curly, it's not such a big deal except that it takes hours to dry off. But when it's straight water = BAD. I almost always make the mistake of being so giddy when I get my hair done that I want to go out and show it off beacause it looks so good. So what do I do? I tell myself I won't dance, not at all, because the sweat will ruin my roots, the nape of my neck, and any other part that touches my skin. But after a few beers with all my friends out acting all crazy, what happens? I get my groove on and my hair is dead. I wake up and want to shoot myself. I then must take the blow dryer to it and flat iron at home, and practically re do it to make it look good again. Ugh Hair. I love it when it's pretty, but I hate it when it's inconvenient - which is always.

Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson...

2009-03-26T11:40:00.005-03:00

So the constant impending feeling of doom looming over me lately has taken on the form of anxieties about graduation. Not the act itself, but what comes after. Or, rather, the question of what comes after? I've been searching for jobs and looking at volunteer avenues (Peace Corps, Americorps, TeachAmerica), but I'm going to have to kick it into high gear here pretty soon. I don't officially graduate until August, so I have a few extra months, but I'm sure they'll fly by just like the rest of college has. I have to take three classes this summer to fulfill credit requirements, but they can be online, so I'm trying to possibly get a full time gig for the summer. I could just look around in Lafayette for something low-key, but I'm trying to stay ahead of the game and look for something more permanent as well.

I know that after I leave MacDonald, I need to reach up. I need to take advantage of the stepping stone it's provided. I'm really interested in publishing and book acquisition, but that is a little hard to break into, so I've been browsing internships in that. The only problem with these internships I've been finding is that they're all in big cities (good) and they pay next to nothing (uh oh, bad). I'm scared for now. I would be more excited if I had something for sure to be excited about. But right now, I've got nothin'.

I've always liked that movie The Graduate, but now I really envy the Ben character. He had a family to support him while he drifted (literally and metaphorically - like in the pool scene). I am on my own, so I've gotta find something or else I'll really be struggling after graduation. I know what it's like to not be able to pay bills - it really, really, really sucks. Makes life hard. I'm not looking for anything to make me rich, I just want some stability. But I'm torn between my desires for stability and adventure. I'd like to travel, and I'd like to be able to do something that I can be creative and help people with. I am really afraid of getting STUCK. Specifically of getting STUCK in a job that I hate. I'm pretty flexible, so for me to really hate it, it would have to be a pretty terrible job. But that's what I'm afraid of.... Help, please??? Comments very welcome. Let me know if you're feeling or have felt the same way. Let me know if you have any advice or other options I might not have thought about.

A Closeted "Cullenist"

2009-03-23T08:55:00.004-03:00

So it's been awhile since I've been on this blog, but it's so darn pretty I couldn't resist updating it. I'm at work at MacDonald Advertising Services (a post for another day....), and I blog on the company blog regularly. Today I accidentally signed into my personal blogger account and here we are!

I'm a little sleepy this morning, but it's entirely my fault. I'm a little embarassed to admit it, but.... sigh.... I love Twilight!!! The movie came out Saturday, and I rented it last night. It was ok. I definitely prefer the books. Although the actor who plays Jasper Hale — Jackson Rathbone — is just delicious. See above photo. He brings me back to my teeny bopper days, with pictures of Brandon Boyd plastered all over my walls. Anyway, the movie's only mediocre, but the books are kind of addictive. I stayed up last night trying to finish the fourth and final one of the series, but I fell asleep around 2:00 a.m. I'm a Creative Writing and Comparative Lit Major!!! I'm not supposed to like Twilight! I know... but I can't help myself. I bought the first one just because it seemed like something that should be in my cannon of reading for this year. I was highly disappointed with the writing itself (she uses "literally" completely wrong, among many of my other pet peeves), but the story is enthralling. I have to know what happens next!

So maybe when I'm finished I'll do a review on here of the whole series for you. I'll be sure not to post any spoilers, though, so don't worry.

For Clinton, Government as economic prod

2008-01-21T13:31:00.000-03:00

Clinton is now focusing on the middle class economic issues, and has the vocabulary to go with it. It is funny that just in the last couple of days, Obama has adopted her "kitchen table" talk to try to seem more down to Earth. She promises to focus her energy on individual programs to fix individual problems, and to undo the tax cuts that Bush gave to households making over $250,000. I have mainly been focusing on the Democratic race, since I am very left, but I suppose I should also explore some of the Republican candidates as well.

I'm addicted to BuddySlim

2007-02-09T16:19:00.000-03:00

It's really pathetic how often I've been on BuddySlim.com since I started it. I've been on at least twice a day, if not more. I guess it's good for me though. I think it's so addictive because everyone on there is so open and positive about life. Makes me feel like I'm not alone in all of the anxieties I have about trying to lose weight and deal with life, and it gives me tons of energy when I get little notes from people I don't even know encouraging me. I just finished my philosophy paper and realized it's half a page too short, but I think I'll be fine. If not I can always write another one. I think I'm going to go eat lunch in the Union now and try to read up before class.

Pet Dragon

2007-02-07T16:59:00.000-03:00

They asked a bunch of second graders in the Journal and Courier today what it would be like to have a pet dragon, and here's what they said. Cute.

Describe what it would be like if you had a pet dragon.

Josy Williams: The dragon would stay outside, because it would be messy.

Alex Parmely: I could put it in my mom's room. It would eat my mom's bed.

Travis Lineback: I would put it in my room. I would lock it up in a big cage.

Talon Bragg: I would fly on its back. I could see the whole world.

Nikoli Balser: If I had a pet dragon, I would tell it to burn my sister.

Luke Riemenschneider: My dragon is fed. It lives in a pool.

Daniel Salazar: I would use it to go around the world. I would go to China and see pictures of dragons.

Jodi Crum: If I had a pet dragon I think I would not like it because I would be screaming around the whole house. The dragon would be making a big mess. I would have to put it outside in a cage.

Tyler Ramey: I want to make it do my chores and play with my cousin.

Keely Criswell: I would have to clean up after it all the time. I would keep it in my room.

Sydney Pearl: I would name it Jodi. I would make it cook. It would be red.

Lily Regnier-Ford: Well, I would ride it to school and home again. The dragon would be red and have long wings.

Breyden Bailey: I would want a dragon so I could see Joe Montana and Walter Payton.

Jordan O'Shea: Instead of riding I'd have the dragon to fly. It would be much quicker.

Deedra Phillips: I would be scared, because I would think he would blow fire at me. I would wonder how to feed him, where to keep him and all that good stuff.

Derrick Reynolds: I would make the dragon melt the school.

Aaron Bull: It would be cool to have a pet dragon, because I could win prizes and awards for the best pet ever.

Snow Day

2007-02-06T16:52:00.000-03:00

Wow, is it beautiful outside. I woke up today a bit late since my first class wasn't until 1:30, and it's been snowing ever since. At about eleven I got a call about one of my later appointments being cancelled, and then decided that I was going to take a snow day. There's about six inches on the ground right now and it's still snowing really hard. Honestly I'm glad I didn't go to class. I would have been miserable waiting for the bus. I'm still just working on my philosophy paper and maybe I'll try to write some poetry after I'm done.

The day always seems to breeze by when I don't go to work or school. I've just been trying to clean up a bit, and I've been looking up diet info online. They actually want you to eat alot on the slim-fast website meal plans, but I think that's supposed to go with the recommended amount of exercise, and since I've just been staying in out of the cold lately, I haven't been going to the gym. I am so excited about finally having an extra room to use as an office. Right now it's pretty messy and we still have some boxes to unpack, but I built a big pine bookcase last month so I'll have a place to put some more stuff. Well, back to work.

Plato's Banana Republic

2007-02-05T17:00:00.000-03:00

I love how ancient philosophy is not only phallocentric, but just completely obsessed with man-love. Seriously. I read the Symposium for my Philosophy of Woman class, and by the end I had counted dozens of instances where the love of men and boys is mentioned. Not only is it an important part of ancient Greek society, but it is held to be much better than heterosexual love. The story behind it is pretty cool, though. The myth of the origin of the sexes is probably the most truly romantic thing I've ever read. Screw Shakespeare- biology is hot!

Speaking of hot, today is day two of week one of my twelve-week slim-fast dealy. I haven't been doing so well, but trust me when I say that simply trying is great progress for me. I found this great website that's really similar to myspace but it's all users who are trying to lose weight. It's called BuddySlim. There's ways to track your progress and post things like recipes or diet tips, and it makes it a bit less depressing to look at where your current weight is compared to your goal. My goal, by the way is 130, which is quite a ways to go, but my short-term goal is only to lose twenty pounds. I think I can handle that. I'm not giving myself any time limits, but I'm just trying to keep my goal in mind every day. I have problems when I get busy and simply give up on trying to eat healthy and quit exercising. My empirical goal is to fit into THE JEANS. I'll post a picture of THE JEANS later tonight here and on Buddy Slim. I really miss THE JEANS. They did wonders for my mis-shapen ass.

Today at girl scouts, we're going to make some Valentines for the residents at a nursing home. It should be fun, I just hope this week is a bit more calm and structured than last week since my new friend Diksha is coming along for the ride. Last time one of the brownies called 911. There was no emergency. I guess I'll have to be more strict this time.

I'm trying to get my philosophy paper done today since I didn't go to class. I'm writing on Plato's Republic and its feminist components, which would be much more interesting if I didn't have ten thousand other things going on. I'm trying to stay focused, but, as you can see, it's just not working. At least it's not due till Friday, so I'm starting sooner that I usually do. Back to work.

On My Honor...

2007-01-30T20:23:00.000-03:00

I'm a girl scout troop leader now! Go figure... for your reading pleasure:

The Girl Scout Promise

On my honor I will try
to serve god and my country,
to help others at all times,
and to live by the Girl Scout Law.

In my mind, I like to replace "to serve god," with "to observe the impermanence of non-reality." I don't say that in meetings, though. Imagine trying to explain that to Southern Baptist parents.

So they still haven't found the missing boy at Purdue. They've been organizing tons of search parties, but nothing has been found. I should write a poem about it. For my poetry workshop we have to have ten poems by the end of the semester. I kind of miss my old Creative Writing teacher- he was such a bastard! It was great! He was so picky and did such a good job on critiques, but I guess maybe I just haven't gotten used to Mary Leader's teaching style. She's very open to her students' writing. She really takes it for what it is, which is something I'm not used to. It was easy to find the value in having a paper returned with half the words crossed out, and a three paragraph explanation of why your ending sucks (also the same with short fiction), but I guess Mary Leader's sense of adventure in reading poetry is something I should adopt. I'm terrible! When I see a peer's poem, if it doesn't follow my "rules," I automatically hate it. Maybe Ben's teaching has ruined my reading of poetry for life. Dammit.
I guess I never really liked poetry before his class, though. I think I just need to read more. If any readers (hah like I have any!) have any suggestions for poets they like, feel free to comment me.
For the remainder of the evening I will be skipping the non-fiction reading by Bich Minh Nguyen, and enjoying Mad Mushroom Night with my homework and my boyfriend.

Dear Santa

2006-11-09T12:34:00.000-03:00

Okay, I did this last year and although I didn't really get any of the things on my list- that's not the point. It was fun and got me in touch with my inner child (who's been throwing a fit lately).

So here we go:

***My top ten Christmas Wish List***

1. New black sweatshirt.

Since the summer of 2003 I've been wearing the same black Alkaline Trio sweatshirt. I think it's about time to give it a rest. I love the way it fits, and it's so comfortable and can be worn over anything. I hate, however, that people come up and talk to me just because they happen to like a band that's on my sweatshirt. It's really annoying. Plus, despite Cody's mending, it has holes in both armpits and the pockets are wearing away. So I need a new one!! Preferably one that is black, does not have the name of a band on it (cool pictures or logos might be okay, but preferably plain), and fits perfectly. I've tried to look for some at the mall, but I couldn't find any that fit right.

2. Jeans!!
I go through jeans like you wouldn't believe because they're pretty much all I wear when I don't have to work. Also, my method of jean buying is in need of reform I think. I buy a pair of jeans that I really like, and just wear them until they wear out. The problem with that is once they wear out I don't have anything to wear until I can buy another good pair. I need more than one pair of jeans. PLus, the color of the jeans doesn't always go with everything I want to wear, so I think since I'm not twelve years old anymore it would be okay to mix it up a bit. FYI, the one pair I have now are worn out.

3. AAA membership
I am terrible about silly little mistakes like leaving my lights on or locking my keys in my car. I've gotten better, but I still probably spend about $60 a year on locksmiths and tow trucks, so a AAA card would be well worth it. I do need a car right now, but I doubt anyone reading this is caring enough or rich enough to get that. But just incase, a green Neon or Protege would be great... Hah!

4. Dishes and Silverware

I am clumsy. I need all the ones I can get... and we need silverware badly. A silverware organizer would be nice too.

5. Cookbooks!
I like to cook! But experimenting can only get me so far. I love to try new things, so the more exotic the better.

6. Vacuum
I need a vacuum cleaner like whoa. The one I have smells like dirty feet when I use it and doesn't really do a good job at all.

7. Gift Certificates:
SIMON, Walmart, Goodrich Quality Theatres, Christo's, LaScala, Hot Topic, Target, Barnes and Noble, Trade Secret, Borders, or eBay! would all be great. I like getting gift certificates because even though I love to buy things for myself I hardly ever do if it's for myself because I feel guilty about spending the money. But if you give me a gift certificate, I have to use it!

8. Tea
My new found love. Any and all of them, since I'm a novice to tea.

9. Canvas -the bigger the better.
If I have enough of it, eventually I'll paint something good.

10. Books and Bags
Self explanatory... especially if you know me well enough. But if you don't, not books and bags for school, books and bags for fun: fiction, poetry, self-help, journals, history, pretty much anything that's not fiction genre. And for bags- NOTHING EXPENSIVE!! I AM NOT A CAST MEMBER ON SEX AND THE CITY!!! I think spending anymore than $40 on a bag is lametarded- to the max. But if you find something cute that you think I'd like, then chances are I will. I can never have too many purses, totes, and handbags!! I could use a new wallet too.

La vie en demi noir, demie lumiere

2006-07-08T16:17:00.000-02:00

I am really sick, which sucks because I wanted to go to the Downtown Records show tonight. I guess I could just take a bunch of medicine and go for a little while, but I think it's going to get kind of crazy later on so I won't stay too long. I don't feel too up to it right now, but we'll see what our friend Sudafed can do about that. Yesterday I was wearing sandals and stubbed my toe on the curb when I got out of the car to go feed my brother's dog. The tip of my big toe is just kind of hanigng there and it hurts too much to get rid of it. The curb looked like someone had bitten it.

Dumb

2006-07-01T22:17:00.000-02:00

It only recently occured to me that I don't have school until Wednesday. Pooh. I had a really dumb day today. It wasn't bad wasn't good... just dumb. So this post would be dumb if I went any further. Dumb...

I like fun

2006-07-01T00:38:00.000-02:00

Today's typogenerator:

"I love food"

Tonight Cody and I went to Christo's for dinner. It was really good food and it wasn't crazy expensive. Our waittress was a girl I went to high school with, but she doesn't really know me. Then we came home and watched a Simpson's dvd. We also played frisbee but we suck so we didn't do that for very long. I'm working on a tattoo design for my back of a female lion in the sunset. I've decided I also want some kind of flower on the small of my back. The lioness is going to go right between my shoulder blades. I asked around and people have recommended me to Mike from Tattooed Heart. I am excited but I want to be careful with the design. I want to avoid anything cheesy or cliche at all costs, but I reeeally want a lioness. I looked in that Mike guy's book today and I like his work so I think I'll probably go with him. I'm trying to scrape together money so I can do it by my twentieth birthday. My mom is giving me some money for it as a present, but I don't know how much. I think all of the work I want to have done will probably take about three hours at most, so maybe $200 at the very most for all of it. But since I'm on such a tight budget I need to set aside money for ointment, and taking a couple of days off work. Not because I'm a baby but because I'm careful and I don't want it to get infected and have to miss even more work- things like that have happened before.

Impermanence

2006-06-29T12:21:00.000-02:00

I guess I should say that when I titled the last post, I was thinking about my money problems. Let me tell you about them.
I HAVE ALOT OF MONEY PROBLEMS!!
Okay, I don't think an itemized list of debts and lacks is necessary, but let's just say I'm troubled. But who cares, right? As long as I stay in school and don't get evicted I'll be good. I might have bad credit for a while, but I'll be good. The worst parts aren't the big bills I owe to hospitals and such, they're the little ones I owe to people- good people who have helped me out. Well, enough.

"One of the principle evils in life, according to Buddhism, is 'repugnance' or hatred. Repugnance is explained as ill-will to beings or suffering and wit. With regards to suffering."
-Walpola Rahula

So if everything is impermanent, yeah, there's no reason to whine about suffering, but what reason is there to strive for excellence and happiness? If anatta is true, then why am I going to college? I really want to paint another mural. I think I'll try to do it Sunday. My golden birthday is coming up on August 20th. I want to get a tattoo of a lionness on my back.

Summertime Blues

2006-06-28T12:11:00.000-02:00

I have updated, and my I say greatly improved, my Purdue webpage. It's very fun now, and I added a bio, some of my artwork, some academic writing, links, and more fun stuff. Plus it looks prettier. I really want to put a game or something on it. My summer classes are going pretty well. I got an A in Gender Lit, and I got A's on my first exams in Math and Philosophy. Philosophy is really interesting, it's 330, Eastern Religions. It sucks, though because we only have like a week to spend on each religion, and I know there's so much we're not learning. We're learning just enough to let us know that we don't understand half of what's going on thought-wise over there. I am working as a cake decorator at Marsh, and I hope to put some of my cakes on my website too. Last night was movie night at the new location of Downtown Records. We watched Army of Darkness but I was way too tired to pay attention to it. I just wanted to go home and sleep. I ran into my brother this morning after Algebra so I'm meeting him at 10:30 for lunch. I still have to walk to my car to get my wallet, so as lazy as I feel right now, I have to go move... pooh.

Egalia's Daughters

2006-05-17T11:05:00.000-02:00

Wow. Gerd Brantenburg did a wonderful job in totally turning everything gender-related upside down. Even all words such as 'human' or 'everybody' are switched to 'huwim' and 'everywom.' I think this aspect of the text made it a bit more difficult to comprehend, but because of this it definitely promotes awareness of how sexist our society truly is.

Yellow Wallpaper in class

2006-05-16T12:27:00.000-02:00

One thing that struck me about The Yellow Wallpaper was that at the end, she decided that there was a woman trapped in the paper that was shaking things about. I think it symbolizes an image of the narrator herself. She might feel kind of trapped and stifled by the situation. Her husband doesn’t let her travel, or write, or do anything mildly stimulating, so the wallpaper is the most exciting thing in her life. She’s limited only to that. She’s “shaking things about” because she wants to break free. Then she goes on into this crazy episode where she thinks she sees the woman outside during the day. She sees her ‘creeping’ outside during the day. She said earlier in the text that she feels like she’s being deceitful to her husband when she takes her naps because she doesn’t really sleep. Maybe she feels like she’s sneaking around as well. Also, she has to be careful of her husband and the maid during the day because they don’t want her to write, and they want to keep believing that she’s getting better. At the very end when she has the rope and she’s trying to ‘catch’ the woman from the wallpaper to prove to her husband that the woman is real, I think she is trying to tell him that she really is sick (since he doesn’t really believe her). Also, she might be trying to control her illness and get better, so she’s trying to ‘catch’ herself.

update: The prof has provided a blogging site for us, so I won't be posting assignments on here anymore, but if you would like to check it out:
here it is

Gender and Literature!

2006-05-16T11:09:00.000-02:00

I've decided to use this blog as my journal for 360K, my Gender and Literature class. It served me well for 106, and I'm looking forward to exploring literary analysis concerning Gender.

The Yellow Wallpaper and Freud
Charlotte Perkins Gilman confused me a bit at first with her short story, The Yellow Wallpaper. It was a first-person narrative immediately describing the 'psychiatric treatment' for a woman living in the late 19th century with a nervous mental illness. Her husband, a physician, prescribed lots of rest, no creative outlets (such as writing), and plenty of fresh air. Renting out a mansion in the country, the narrator becomes obsessed with the very old wallpaper in the nursery tower in which she and her husband stay.
My first impression of the narrator was that she was, indeed, nervous. So when I questioned why, it seemed that she was simply very bored. I suppose if I was in that situation and I was depressed, or nervous, or mentally ill in some manner, I would begin to dig myself a hole. I believe that is what she begins to do, but her hole cannot be dealt with properly because her husband keeps denying that she is really sick. He treats her as if she is fragile, and makes sure to not give her any excitement. When she begs to go visit some family members, he says the excitement will be too much for her, and he does not let her go. Perhaps it would be different if I'd grown up in that time, but being under someone else's rule like that would be enough to make me do some unhealthy thinking. Also, she believes to some extent that her husband is right, and he knows best. He does care for her, and wants her to be well, so she tries to think positively. The excessive "rest" she gets, however, I think drives her into madness. She becomes fixated on things she sees in the ugly wallpaper, and convinces herself that there is a woman trapped in the walls. This probably symbolizes herself, being trapped into "resting" all day long and not being able to openly express herself, or write, which it seems she enjoys doing. The ending shows the narrator locking herself in a room with a rope, trying to catch the woman in the wallpaper, 'creeping' about. This shocks her husband to the point of fainting. Because physically she was gaining weight and looking much better, he thought she was recovering perfectly.
It made alot more sense when I read Ms. Gilman's explanation for writing the story. She, herself, suffered from some kind of 'nervous condition.' She sought help from a specialist, who told her to get as much rest as possible, and do not ever touch a pen, pencil, or paintbrush ever again in her life. She tried to do so, and although her body became much healtheir, her mind deteriorated from lack of stimulation. I think this might be even worse than being physically sick because no one can see and try to help you if the illness is only in your mind. It makes me think about self-mutilators who cut and burn themselves to make their outside pain match their inside pain.

Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn

2006-02-12T20:45:00.000-03:00

I'm simply really pissed right now (and definitely not in the drunk way). I've tried to do everything in my power to make a certain person happy and it seems all he can do is just shit all over my efforts with his own selfishness. I'm really tired of making sacrifices for someone who just doesn't care half the time... Okay now that I have that off my chest I can begin to think clearly. I've been trying to get into this Urban Renewal book for my Black Lit class, but it's been difficult. I have a paper due next Monday on it, plus I have to finish reading the next book in the course this week, so it's going to be a busy week.
My pet rat, Boris, has a tumor and will have to be put to sleep. It's sad, but there's nothing else I can really do. He is eating less and less every day and has developed sores on his legs and stomach. Not to mention the gumball sized lump on his side. It kills me to imagine him falling asleep for the very last time, so I just try not to think about it. Apparently, all rats bred in the Lafayette area are bound to die of tumors by the time they're two or three years old.
Hey- STAT113 sucks! It really does, and it's very uninteresting. Honestly, I'd rather take Algebra than this class- that's how bad it is for me. The prof is great and my instructor for recitation is a nice guy, but the material is very dull.
I'm hoping to have my laundry done so I can leave before he gets home so this doesn't turn into another useless fight. I just hope he knows it's NOT cool to ditch me when we've made plans. Ugh I even bought him stuff at the store. I'm takin' it back.

"I am a giant paper snowflake, there is nothing to fear"

2006-02-11T12:13:00.000-03:00

That's the current status on the wall I've been commissioned to paint. I've writen a few poems and ditties on my other blog, Second Floor East. If anyone still actually reads this blog, they should read the other one because its far more interesting. It's about what's inside my head instead of what's outside of it. Matt Hart sent me his new book of poems, who's who vivid. It's really a chaotic masterpiece, the best kind.
It's Saturday morning and I'm taking a break from worrying and studying to eat poptarts and watch cartoons. Things have been quite up and down emotionally, but I have a distinct feeling that they're going to start evening out soon. I've ever so slowly been making some changes for the better. One such small change has been to limit my Villa pizza intake weekly. It's a tiny step, but valuable. Also, I've been taking far more sincere interest in my classes this semester than last. Instead of just doing my homework to get it done, I've been trying to do it for the specific purpose of learning something new, and practicing thinking each and every time I sit down to study. French is easy to be interested in, and so is Black Lit. Ethics and Statistics are hard to love, though. Because of health problems, of me and Boris (my pet rat), I've missed many lectures in Stat already early in the semester. I should be fine if I don't miss any more, but it worries me. Something else could come up later.
Well... now for your viewing pleasure:
well... you've already seen it because blogger won't allow me to put pictures after my text. Bastards.

A Brief Update

2006-01-25T14:25:00.000-03:00

My new toy:

My professional human toothpick:

I was wrong. I thought I wasn't going to get anything for the holidays, but I got way more than I expected. I got acceptance from Cody's family. Surprisingly, I got the opportunity to give gifts at my family's Christmas festivities, and I also got an amazing New Year's Eve at the go-kart track. Pizza, skeeball, pinball, racing go karts, and two of the most fun people on this Earth- it was like heaven. Perhaps my streak of holiday mishaps has come to an end. I usually dred any type of special occasion because things tend to always go wrong for me on birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries. I've been injured on birthdays, dumped on anniversaries, stranded by the side of the road on Easter, spent TWO Halloweens (my favorite) in the hospital with asthma, and had was left completely alone in a house with no heat last Christmas. This holiday season, though, from Thanksgiving to present (Saturday is the Chinese New Year by the way) has been thoroughly satisfying and almost what one could call euphoric. Oh, and I also bought myself a longboard, which might not have been so smart because I think I'm more addicted to skating now than nicotine. I have a new part time job working at Elegance, a perfume oil place in the mall. It's a very pleasant atmosphere but quite boring. But I get free samples every day!

Dear Santa

2005-12-03T15:26:00.000-03:00

Ok, chances are I'm not even getting anything for Christmas, but you're never too old to make a list. I was teased and tempted when I came across the NYTimes top ten holiday books. No, these aren't tales of reindeer and snow, they're just good gift ideas. Perhaps for myself...
The two I want most are The Year of Magical Thinking and On Beauty. I'm such a bad Buddhist... Some other things on my wish list are an iPod nano, the newest Zombies game, a microwave, and some Mohair socks.

technorati tags: Christmas, mohair

HTML for Beginners

2005-12-02T19:02:00.000-03:00

In searching for help with my webpage online, I came across a little beginners guide to HTML. Although some of the things I'm trying to do go beyond what this can offer, it is still nice to have some kind of reference for the jibberish that dictates my success. My tampering has only made my problems multiply, and divide, and add, and just take over so that now, I can't get the page to come up on any computer but an Itap one that is signed in with my career account. Unfortunately I have to use a laptop for the project on Thursday, so I need to get this fixed ASAP. The ics website gave me some tips to try tomorrow when I go to the lab. It's possible that my www files aren't 'world viewable,' so I am going to try to make them 'world viewable,' and hopefully when they are 'world viewable' they will be viewed correctly by the world. I guess it's not the world's job to view them correctly, it's my job to make them correctably viewable to the world.... pfew.

Update: My page is only viewable to the world if the world puts http:// before the simple url. I wonder if our children will be learning html structure along with sentence structure in fourth grade...

technorati tags: html, ITAP

The Clock is Ticking

2005-12-02T15:07:00.000-03:00

As the due date for project three draws near, I'm continuing the struggle with my Purdue webpage. Every time I have a glimmer of hope with its success in one browser, something goes wrong in another type of browser. Dreamweaver is a great program, but I feel like something is fishy with my default settings. Everytime I upload something new that should just.... BE THERE, it's simply not. Finals week is actually not going to be too hectic for me, so I'll be able to focus on this project the most.

I might get a job as a Pharmacy Technician at the West Lafayette Walgreens. This is very good news since I've been on the brink of homelessness due to lack of funds. I had a Friedman moment when a little old lady led me back to do an online skills assessment that included some simple computer questions.

Also: Thanks to links from other sites to my blog, I am now a multicellular microorganism on ttlb.

technorati tags: pharmacy, web design

EndNote

2005-12-02T15:03:00.000-03:00

In class yesterday Mary discussed EndNote with us. EndNote is a software tool that allows a user to enter information about sources used for papers and projects, then with the click of the mouse it creates a bibliography/works cited list in any format you want. As it turns out, EndNote is already installed in our Itap Accounts, and it is also available at the Print Shop in the Union for an extremely reduced price.

technorati tags: citation, Endnote

"Showcase" Project

2005-12-01T22:25:00.000-03:00

I found some helpful information about the 106 showcase at the end of the year. Since the showcase is what our third project is based on and our instructor wants us to keep this event in mind, reading through this has helped clarify the assignment for me. There are some great links to other resources on this page as well. I wasn't aware of the term "visual rhetoric" before reading this page. As it happens, there are many books and resources about visual rhetoric and posters in particular. I have to say after further considering this project, I am truly excited to see what I can do with it.

technorati tags: Showcase, visual rhetoric

My Top Tens

2005-11-18T12:48:00.000-03:00

Going to Purdue has turned out to be everything I'd hoped for and more. So here are my Top Ten Best Things About College... or in short- 'Top Ten College Yays:'

10. Campus is so pretty....
9. At first I wasn't thrilled about having to walk around in the cold early in the morning, but now I honestly look forward to being outside so much every day. It really gets your blood pumping.
8. There are soooo many classes to choose from.
7. Along with number eight, getting to study what I am most interested in.
6. Although I lived on my own last year, it was stressful and lonely. Now that I have financial help and many of my friends also have their own places, it's much more fun.
5. Instructors treat students as if they are intelligent, capable human beings (not children who have to be force-fed information).
4. Free time during the day to get things done
3. Much larger group of people to get to know and hang out with.
2. More parties and shows. Just more to do in general.
1. Feeling like an intelligent, capable human being.

technorati tags: fun, college

Top Ten Online Buddies

2005-11-18T12:20:00.000-03:00

In middle school and high school there are some kids who rely on the internet for everything: Socializing, homework, playing games, and shopping. I was not one of those kids. Although I am not online at my apartment, I have spent more time working online at the labs on campus this semester than I ever have before. Throughout the semester, I have made certain "friends" online. Some of which are obvious tools for school, and some others are just for fun and networking for studio work. So, here are my top ten best online friends:
10. Myspace
9. Thirdleg (This is the Lafayette Music League. Every week it gives info about different live music and events that are taking place locally.)
8. The Raw Story (for whenever I need to rekindle the fire in my belly)
7. Bloglines (great for helping me keep track of all of my fellow 106ers)
6. Google (only the most enormous well of information! great for talking points, to find more sources for information and ideas)
5. Stats Counter
4. Ben Weasel's blog
3. delicious (very helpful when doing research)
2. Purdue Webpage (obviously important in finding out where to go for everything school-related... has hundreds of links to other cites)
1. Blogger (of course!)

Top Ten Editing Issues

2005-11-18T12:04:00.000-03:00

One thing Mary has encouraged us to do is to create a personal editing checklist to use when revising our work. As a creative writing major, I'm definitely going to be writing alot throughout the next few years, so this will be a great tool for me. I'm sure it will evolve as I learn more about myself as a writer and as I try to improve my ability to improve. Here is what I have so far:

10. Parallelism within and among sentences
9. Varying sentence structure
8. Commas!
7. Run-on sentences (unfortunately I still find myself overlooking some of these)
6. Proper citations only where they are needed (last week in class Mary spoke about having how too many citations where they are not needed could affect the credibility of a paper)
5. Vocabulary
4. 'ly' on adverbs that need it
3. Silly spelling errors
2. Narration, instead of discussion, when it is not needed
1. Readability -This is number one because until I started reading aloud everything that I write, I never thought I needed to rephrase or restate them. Also, I never even considered numbers ten, seven, or nine until I started reading aloud to revise.

technorati tags: grammar, editing

Initiative is Essential for Survival

2005-11-08T17:02:00.000-03:00

It's been far too long since my last post, but I hope to make up for that soon. Everytime I find new information or hear about something cool, especially if it has to do with english, writing, audio engineering, I think, 'hey, I this would make a great post!' But alas, I've been working 40 hours a week and I've been trying to get my presentations together for Com114 (blah!), so that's taken up alot of time. Last Monday during class I realized how much fun this version of English 106 really is, or at least, should be. I had a little "fun" with my Dreamweaver recently, and I've been trying to fix up my Purdue Homepage. Mary keeps reiterating that this is a process class, and that part of the learning experience is trying to figure things out on our own. I finally realized that figuring things out on our own is the only way we're going to get anywhere. I sat down in the lab, determined to solve my own problems with my homepage, and the results are humble but they suit the purposes of the page so far. Check it out here.

By the way, if you are viewing it in a Firefox browser, you might notice that there is no picture. For some reason it is visible in Internet Explorer, but not Firefox. If anyone can help me with this, please comment or email.

technorati tags: Dreamweaver, Purdue

Peace Corps Interview

2005-10-27T15:04:00.000-02:00

For my Com 114 class I am giving a speech on why college students should consider the Peace Corps as a post-graduation option. I briefly interviewed Drew Schmenner, who is currently serving in Niamey, Niger. I've been reading Drew's blog since we started working with blogs in English 106. Also, since he linked to me I am now officially a lowly insect in the blog ecosystem. Here is the interview:
Kim.

Here are answers. Good luck on your speech. --Drew

1. Throughout college, was the Peace Corps something you had always wanted
to do?

Once I began to think about my future after college, Peace Corps was
definitely an option I considered. I did not want to pursue a career right
out of college, so I looked at service and volunteer organizations such as
Americorps, Teach for America, and Peace Corps. The spirit of adventure and
volunteerism, the opportunity to get to know another culture and language,
and the time to step away from my "American life" and mull over my career
options were all factors that ultimately propelled me to join Peace Corps
directly out of college.

2. What things were holding you back?

Several aspects of the Peace Corps experience naturally forced me to
seriously consider the ramifications of the two-year commitment. First of
all, I would be far away from my support network of family and friends. If I
had a problem in Africa, I would not be able to call them, and they could
not rely on me for constant support. Self-doubt and fear also sometimes
entered my thoughts. Would I be able to adjust to the difficult living
conditions in Niger, one of the world's poorest countries? Would I be able
to handle the heat, intestinal discomfort, and language and cultural
barriers? I continued to consider these questions during the first few
months in Niger.

3. Why did you decide to travel where you did?

During the Peace Corps application process, you are able to make a
preference for a certain region of the world (Africa, South America, Asia,
etc.) Since I speak French and expressed interest in West African culture,
my Peace Corps recruiter attempted to match me with programs in this region.
Obviously, she was successful.

4. What kinds of things are you learning?

I have developed a variety of skills during my two years in Niger. By
surviving the challenge of living in one of the world's poorest countries, I
have matured and become more confident in ways that will continue to
manifest themselves once I return to the States next March. By working and
communicating in French and Hausa, I have developed communication and
project-planning skills. By dealing with Nigeriens in a cross-cultural
context, I have improved my "people skills." And, ultimately, I have
cultivated certain intangible, immeasurable qualities -- patience,
open-mindedness, curiosity -- that will be invaluable wherever I end up in
the future.

5. How do you think the Peace Corps will help you with your career?

Though I did not join Peace Corps for to gain the "international experience"
needed for certain careers or solely to list it on my resume, I have to
admit that I am proud of what I have experienced and accomplished here. Not
many people on the job market can claim such a unique, cross-cultural
experience, and employers will notice that I not only took the risk to join
Peace Corps but I also produced certain "results" as a volunteer. While I do
not necessarily place utmost importance on the professional aspects of
service -- I tend to think of Peace Corps as a "life experience" rather than
"work" -- I do realize that the lessons I have learned and the hardships I
have endured here will translate to better creativity, problem solving, and
management skills in all aspects of my life, including the workplace.

technorati tags: Niamey, Peace Corps

Map of Language

2005-10-20T22:25:00.000-02:00

Hey all you Eng106 students... remember the first or second day of class when Mary asked us to draw a map of writing. Well here's an awesome example I found on her .delicious blog of a map of the English Language. Enjoy.

technorati tags: language, map

Typogenerator: Pizza Las Vegas

2005-10-20T19:05:00.000-02:00

You should try this, it's great fun. I'm not sure what squirrels have to do with Las Vegas, but the actual picture of a pizza is priceless.

technorati tags: typogenerator, pizza

Female Pronouns

2005-10-20T18:52:00.000-02:00

In our English 106 conference yesterday, Sabrina, Mary, Sara, and I had a discussion about the change of the default from neutral to female pronouns in professional writing. In other words, it is proper to say "she" instead of "he," "one," or even "he or she." Also, "her" should be used for possessive pronouns. Mary explained to us that this is because for so long, the mindset of Americans has been that male comes before female and is therefore somehow better. By using the female pronouns, we bring an awareness that has not ever been experienced. Initial impression might be that it is unfair to now use female pronouns instead of male, but come on, people, think bigger! For years upon years now male has been the default, so why not let the ladies have a turn at being first- at least for a little while.
In exploring this, I came across an all female school that has decided that, in order to accomodate transgender individuals (biological females whose gender is male, or vise versa), they are going to use all neutral pronouns despite the nature of the school. This is very interesting considering that even in an all-women's school there are individuals who feel that their gender is actually male. Keep in mind that sex is physical, and gender is mental and emotional.

technorati tags: feminism, pronouns

Brief Moments in the History of Lafayette Punk

2005-10-20T00:13:00.000-02:00

These are just a few of the images captured from Saturday night's show featuring Counteractive and the Lafayette Hospitals at Kenzie's. As you can see this show wasn't for the faint of heart or the easily bruised. The first one is blurry because as it flashed, I started to get knocked from my "safe" perch on a chair. It wasn't for those with a weak stomach or closed mind, either. If you'll note the bottom left picture, the gentlemen with the mohawk in the Ramones shirt is about to spit on somebody (or everybody). Though this type of scene might not be your thing, you can't deny the passion and expression of adolescent discontent (or just plain silliness) featured.

technorati tags: counteractive, punk rock

Zombie stress

2005-10-18T15:16:00.000-02:00

Unfortunately due to my hectic school/work/...more school/more work schedule, I had to hold off on volunteering more at the Boys and Girls Club. The kids were so much fun there, but I'm simply too busy with working two other jobs and going to school full time. This week and last have been full of projects and exams. Also, at Movie Gallery we've had two people quit (one being a full-time person), so I've had to work 36 hours/wk until we replace some people. Things with family and friends have been hectic. My great, great Aunt and Uncle are visiting my mom, and it kills me because they're getting up there in years so they know this could possibly be their last visit. They keep calling me at least once every day but I've only been able to see them once for about five minutes. My brother and his fiance are trying to include me in the wedding planning, which is great, but scary because I don't want to get sucked into the wedding-planning abyss with them. Despite all of my hectic schedule, I did get a chance Saturday to check out a show at Downtown Records, then retire early for a round of Zombies (I love Zombies!!). On the bright side, I'm doing alright in algebra and I think I'll get a decent grade on my English project. Also, I now know that I have to start and finish the next English project pretty far in advance because I'm going to want to have time to polish it more than I did this one.

technorati tags: zombies, anxiety

Place Friendship

2005-10-10T15:52:00.000-02:00

Friday I found a great resource for my project from the CYE Journal. The acronym stands for "Child, Youth, Environments." In this peice written by Sudeshna Chatterjee, the concept of 'place friendship' is discussed. I tried to look up place friendship in the online webster's dictionary but couldn't find an entry. There was also no entry on wikipedia, so I posted one. Place friendship is simply how an environment interacts with a person. Chatterjee outlines six things that are needed to make a child-friendly environment: mutual affection and personal regard; shared interests and activities; commitment; loyalty; self-disclosure and mutual understanding; and horizontality. The Boys and Girls Club makes an effort to provide all of these things in order to make the environment kid-friendly.

technorati tags: Place Friendship, wikipedia

Photos

2005-10-04T18:59:00.000-02:00

Although my companion on my photography expedition last night wouldn't allow me to shoot him, I got some great photos from the top of the Wood St. parking garage. It overlooks a beautiful stretch of street, the Young Grad House, Harry's Chocolate Shop, the back of Chauncey Hill Mall, and, last but certainly not least, the skyline of downtown Lafayette. I've become fond of urban landscapes, especially nighttime shots of factories or rundown apartment buildings. I got a great shot of two people hanging out in their rooms completely unaware of one another in Young.
I will have to wait to post these pics until tonight when I can pick up a USB cord to get them off of my brother's camera. I know you're all just quivering with anticipation...

technorati tags: Purdue, photos

Interview and Volunteering at BGC

2005-10-04T18:53:00.000-02:00

Yesterday morning I visited the Lyn Treece Boys and Girls Club to interview the Youth Director there. He never showed up so I spoke to Jim Bennet, the new Education Director, instead. He was great in telling me all about the daily operations of the club and how they stay connected to parents, teachers, other clubs, the BGC Board, and organizations that provide them with grants. It was strange walking around in the tiny building (which seemed enormous back when I spent my summer days there). It felt like it hadn't changed at all, but I have definitely changed since I had last been there. Many forgotten memories good and bad came flooding back to mind.
After interviewing Jim and exploring the club, I decided that I definitely wanted to spend some time volunteering there. I am starting next week on Monday and Tuesday nights for a couple of hours just tutoring and hanging out with some of the kids. Most of them live near there, which happens to be my old neighborhood. I'm pretty stoked about starting next week.

technorati tags: volunteer, youth

Individual Interest at BGCA

2005-10-01T19:40:00.000-02:00

Here are some fabulous ways the Boys and Girls Clubs of America use writing to compose the organization. On the national website (which is greatly intricate and informing) there is a step-by-step blueprint of how to start up a club in an area that has a need for one. This is great! If there is a community that has a problem with its youth and someone wants to do something about it, here is help about how to take initiative and try to make a difference. It is quite detailed and informative, too, in such a way that a club would definitely be able to come from these actions.
Also, there is a media section on the homepage of the site. It helps connect people from all over the country who are interested in helping kids. This is a pretty large community, and it seems that this site is a great way of holding it together.

technorati tags: community, BGCA

Flattener #1

2005-10-01T18:59:00.000-02:00

This is yet another assignment I'm glad to have receive from my English 106 class...
In The World is Flat, Thomas Friedman outlines ten forces that helped to "flatten" the world. The first was the fall of the Berlin Wall on November 9, 1989 (when I was at the ripe old age of three!). I am comforted to note that the average people of Berlin were responsible for this silent revolution. Communism had lost the Cold War, and it was affirmed that democracy and a free and open economy were the way to go. From then on, the people's needs and interests, instead of the regime that had been in power, were to govern the economy. There was a ripple effect that took place when the Soviet Empire fell, and the world became less divided. Friedman writes toward the beginning of the section that in order to best understand the effects of the falling of the wall, one should talk to a non-German or non-Russian. Many other severely socialist governments started to break down and allow change to happen. The Indian gentleman Friedman interviewed in the section explained that the economic wall fell in India when the brick one fell in Berlin. The Finance Minister of India opened up the economy and the people and businesses of India were free to expand on their own terms. Within the corporate world, this was definitely a major flattener.
For me, this was a major discovery and opportunity to look at the world as one place instead of many, which until recently I have never really done.

technorati tags: communism, Berlin Wall

The Mind is an Amazing Machine

2005-10-01T18:40:00.000-02:00

This is amazing. It is a story from the New York Times about a respected scholar who, during his adult life, discovered that his mind had created multiple personalities. The man was suffered abuse as a young child, and it caused his psyche to try to protect itself by splitting into eleven different entities. He has since merged those eleven into three personalities that are much more managable. It is a somewhat sad story, but it is an amazing example of what kind of things the human mind can do.

technorati tags: psychology, M.P.D.

Social Life of Documents

2005-09-26T21:04:00.000-02:00

This has been one of the most interesting works I've read all semester. Honestly, my initial impression was that the paper would be monotonous and boring. I was wrong. The writer tells how documents have lives of their own. This is true on some level, but what I got from it was how documents provide bits of life for their readers. For example, he talks about zines and communities alot, and he shows how they give people a sense of connection to one another(which really is what life is all about) that they might not have experienced. As a student, writer, and digital consumer, I deal with documents on a daily basis. It's wonderful to discover small (or large!) aspects of life that have never seemed significant as thoughtfully crafted, essential peices to the most important puzzle: our world.
I'm also glad I got the opportunity to read this work because, along with The World is Flat, it made me appreciate and understand the workings of this 106 course as Mary's deciding to teach it. Communication isn't part of life; it is life. The ways in which we communicate are constantly changing and upgrading, and its important to acknowledge and explore that fact.

technorati tags: social technology, documents

Website Composition

2005-09-26T20:15:00.000-02:00

The website for the Boys and Girls Clubs of America is a great example of appropriate representation in a website. It looks professional, but it does not look stuffy. Also, the colors remind me of what would be in an elementary school. We are working on building our professional websites for Purdue in class using the Dreamweaver program. Here's mine so far. We talked about how simple things like color and font should reflect us as professionals and individuals.
technorati tags: website, composition

Boys and Girls Club

2005-09-20T19:17:00.000-02:00

I've decided to change my non-profit organization to the Boys & Girls Club. I am glad I got to explore a bit of the Peace Corps, but it doesn't have much of a local chapter. Also, I have had personal experience with the Boys & Girls Club in Lafayette. Instead of daycare, my brother Adam and I would go there all day in the summertime. I could have free gymnastics lessons and art classes, and I learned how to swim there. I plan to visit there right after school. Also, I've been looking for a place to volunteer about one day a week or so, and maybe I can help out there sometime.

technorati tags:
Boys and Girls Club, non-profit

Mom and the World is Flat

2005-09-20T15:05:00.000-02:00

Even I, a 19-year-old, technologically literate college student was surprised when reading The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. The speed at which things are changing, and the new ways that things are starting to change are so interesting. Globalization has always just been a word to me that meant that American businessmen are getting richer by exploiting workers in countries with poorer economies. After reading the first chapter of Friedman's book about Indian importation of work, I definately think of that word differently, and not so negatively. I also see the opportunity and necessity of individuals globalizing themselves. I was half listening to a movie while reading this book, and some actress mentioned someone not even knowing where Honduras is on a map when I realized, hey... I don't know where Honduras is on a map. I don't even know if its in South America or Central America.
My mom is 49 and has only used a computer about four times in her entire life. She's intelligent enough, but the basic concepts of operation are a complete mystery to her. Now that she is working at a hospital as a nurse where she has to enter in data, she actually had to call me one time in order to figure out how to close out a window (the obvious little 'x' box in the upper right hand corner. This frustrated me a bit that she didn't know it, but now I understand why. Ten years ago, people didn't use computers in their every day lives. This is completely new to her.
The speed at which things are changing makes me realize that, as Mary was saying in class Thursday, if one stands still, he or she will be left behind. I need to go find out where Honduras is now.

technorati tags: globalization, Friedman

Freedom of Creativity

2005-09-20T00:56:00.000-02:00

Dian's post about her experiences growing up in Singapore make me feel grateful to be living in the U.S. She speaks about how its a big shock for her, coming from a place where every assignment and task was meticulously mapped out for students. Now that she is here, she sees that classes here are much more open to innovation and creativity from students. I'm sure she'll open up and adjust very well once she becomes comfortable with the idea. Perhaps she'll have more insight towards creativity in assignments than those of us who have had such a freedom of expression all of our lives. It also fills me with wonder to think that this box we live in is so isolated. I feel privileged and lucky, but I simply cannot imagine living anywhere else, and I never really try to do so. I definately need to travel.

technorati tags: High School, Indonesia

Music

2005-09-10T17:31:00.000-02:00

This is specifically for Mary.

The Only Living Boy in New York is a great song by Simon and Garfunkle. I didn't realize exactly how great it was before I listened to it and walked down State Street this morning as the first few sun-dried leaves started to tumble across my path on the sidewalk. It's great in Garden State, too. By the way, if anyone hasn't seen this movie, please do yourself a favor and rent it. Zach Braff is living proof that really young directors have a certain edge that some more prestigious ones do not.
Also, last night at work David popped in Nick Drake. We were on a 70's kick. Shhh, don't tell Adam (who is reciting wedding vows as I type this). You might recognize one of the best of his songs from the very last, heart-breaking scene in Donnie Darko. All of Nick Drake's recordings were done before he was 23 years old, because he died at 24. When he sings he sounds like an old man, though.
Speaking of dead geniei, Elliot Smith's ghost danced around in our heads last night, too. His posthumous album is very, very creepy but very, very sweet and just good.technorati tags:
Seventies Music

Ecosystems on the Web

2005-09-10T17:24:00.000-02:00

In ecosystems, organisms all depend on each other for survival. Within the world wide web, the various worlds of writing (professional, personal, civic, and academic) are all benefitting if not depending upon one another. For example, in my English 106 class at Purdue University we have the opportunity to keep an academic weblog to express our thoughts and discoveries throughout this semester. Some entries could and have been inspired by professional works, such as the text provided for this assignment. Also, what we read in the media greatly affects what we have to say. These weblogs we're keeping might inspire or add insight to any personal journal entries we might make, or any future assignments we might turn into other instructors for other courses.
Furthermore, some of these weblog entries deal with civic concerns. They might spark conversation between members of communities about societal issues.
These interdependencies would not be possible without the speed of modern communicationl. Due to the fact that there are so many different types of writing online, they all interconnect.

Peace Corps

2005-09-09T14:58:00.000-02:00

I've chosen the Peace Corps for my non-profit organization for an upcoming English assignment. We are supposed to explore the way the organization uses writing to compose itself. I was looking at the newsletter I received from the Peace Corps and started feeling this really positive rush. I am always interested in traveling to new, strange places and I've always felt that I was not doing all that I could to help other people on the scale that help is needed. Looking at the pictures from people who are currently serving makes me think that I might have found yet another calling. I haven't felt this excited about something since I started work at the recording studio. The only requirements for serving are U.S. Citizenship and minimum age of 18. It seems they really want people who are skilled in the areas of education, community developement, and agriculture, though. Most of the people who serve in the Peace Corps have atleast a four-year degree and volunteer or work experience in one of those three fields. I don't really know what they would do with someone with a degree in Creative Writing and Philosophy, but I already have experience tutoring kids, I have family in Haiti, and I am one of those people who likes to be completely independent and un-attached. One thing I am worried about is the debt I will have acquired from college after I graduate. I'm sure my feelings might change in the future, but as well as joining the Peace Corps after I graduate, I would like to attend graduate school to get an MFA. I'm thinking, however, now that I might need a year or two of working in order to pay off my debt right after I graduate.
Who knows what the future will hold; I might end up moving to Haiti on my own to teach and tutor even if it's just for a summer.

Icing on the Cake

2005-09-01T21:10:00.000-02:00

This makes me smile... According to the interpunk listings Screeching Weasel, at 87, are just above Avenged Sevenfold, at 88. Also, the Time to Waste single, which it seems we were working on just yesterday, by Alkaline Trio is already, or I guess you could say still, in the top 100. These are all bands that I've either worked with or been afiliated with through Sonic Iguana. If you are curious there are some links on the website to some music we've recorded. Squirtgun is at 58, above some very big bands like the Horrorpops and Tiger Army. Rise Against are the highest, at 38 (above Rufio! They are pretty big right now.) with their newer one, "Revolutions per Minute." That album was not actually recorded at Sonic, but it still gives me a sense of pride to know that the company I work at helped propel them into their current success. Screeching Weasel and Squirtgun are great bands, but it surprises me to see that they're still doing so well. Years after the release of "Boogada" and "Fade to Bright." Most of the people who have this blog on their feed will have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, but trust me, these are significant victories in my world that I just recently discovered.
Considering the fact that it is a website titled "Interpunk," and bands like Bayside and Against Me! are topping the list, these statistics are not unlikely and unexpected. Seeing them, though, is like a huge pat on the back for me and other engineers who have actually worked on the albums and can see that the product we've put out was worth all of those hours in the studio with and without the bands. Also, since it is a punk rock website, it's assumed that the people buying the cd's have relevant opinions of the genre. I'm just waiting for the day the Riptides, Best Friend's Enemy, and Third Rate Heroes (you have to check these little guys out- their average age is about 12), all bands that I've been significantly involved with, are up on the interpunk charts.

Gravel

2005-09-01T01:32:00.000-02:00

I've been on a metaphor kick in the last year or so with my writing. Using metaphors in different ways is good, though because it helps me grow in that area. I get frustrated though when I put too much emphasis on them. Oh well... When I was a little kid I used to rollerskate all the time. The only time I enjoyed playing outside was when there was a cute boy around or I was rollerskating on the sidewalk. I was thinking about it tonight as I was driving to a friend's house and the road went from being very bumpy and rough to very smooth and quiet. I used to love the feeling of coming onto a smoothe sidewalk after trying to trudge through gravel or skate on rough sidewalks. I almost sighed with relief. Perhaps it was because this has been a very long day, or maybe it was just the simple feeling of the road becoming smoother. Smoothe surfaces wouldn't hold as much value without the bumpy ones. Maybe that's why I always have so much appreciation for my circumstances. I know what it's like for life to really suck, and trust me, my life does not suck.

Constitution

2005-08-30T15:16:00.000-02:00

As many times as I've read the United States Constitution, I always note something new each time I read it. It's one of the most important documents, because it directly affects me and those around me every day. This time I didn't get tingly thinking about the great history of it. I didn't feel especially grateful for living in a country that is so close to being just. I didn't consider what was sacrificed so that it could be put into action.
Instead, I saw the humor in the way people thought, wrote, and spelled back then. For example, the House of Reps will chuse its Speaker. Also, only those considered "free persons" have to pay taxes, which does not include the "Indians." I wonder what the four fathers would have thought about same-sex marriage and the NAACP.

http://www.house.gov/Constitution/Constitution.html

The Cellar Door

2005-08-22T20:27:00.000-02:00

Here are the first two pages of a short story I wrote last semester. It's more than twice this long, so I didn't want to bore anybody with reading the entire thing. I will post the rest maybe after I revise it. I enjoy writing short stories, and I hope to start a novel soon. I also hope to improve my writing while and before writing my first novel. Just to clarify, this firs tpart is a narrative. It is an aunt speaking to her nephew about her childhood.

“I need to tell you something. There are times when I feel so trapped. Every once in a while I’ll look around and the realization that I can’t go back and change things I’ve done rears its ugly head, blaring and screaming in the form of my present surroundings and let me tell you… it hurts. The older you get, the more you’re affected by past decisions and the more everything matters. Everything just gets faster and carries more weight than it ever did before. It feels like I’m on the Titanic or something, left with the choice to sink and rot at the bottom of the ocean or swim and freeze to death on the surface. Reality bores hollow spots in my heart where all that’s left is this echoing question of how much better things could have been.

My marriage is falling apart. Pretty soon it’ll be too late to have kids. I’m beginning to think my job, which used to be the focus and thrill of my life, is simply a waste. To think that I’ve spent so many years planning and saving and waiting and preparing, but never knowing exactly what my desired end was, it really makes me sad.

I realize now the only thing you can ever really own is youth. But sometimes even that can be ripped away from you.

I was happy once. You could say that it was because of my ignorance of the world, but I would give anything now to not feel the heaviness of the years in between.

We used to paint on the cellar door in the summertime. That was so many years ago. Sometimes we used brushes, but usually we just dipped our plush little fingertips into the brilliant colors and dragged them across the rough wooden surface. After our masterpiece was finished, mom or Julie would come out and marvel at it. When we’d covered the door with our artwork, we would run to find the white paint.

‘Can we start over?’ we would ask, and Julie would run the paint roller over our scribbles of stick people and likenesses of purple cats. We’d just start over again. She always acted so excited when Sylvia and I would make her portrait on the door. Sylvia and I used to be close. Although I was older, we were close enough in age to be in the same grade. We had our battles, but when it was time to go out and play it was just more fun to play together.

My mom was a very strange woman. She was excruciatingly introverted, even around the house. The most we ever heard her speak was when she was alone in another room. As we got older we knew her less and less. Every attempt to break through this invisible barrier that she built around herself failed.

After she finally faded away completely everything changed. Julie officially became mom and things slowly fell apart. She had to drop out of art school to work full time. She was only 20 and she had two twelve year olds to raise. We had to move out of the big farmhouse and into a tiny apartment downtown. I shut down and put the blinders on for my future. I was angry at her for leaving us, and it made me selfish. I felt cheated somehow. My anger made me even more determined to reach my goals and live my life the way I wanted to. I surrounded myself with schoolwork and plans for a better life. Sylvia sort of just got lost in it all.

I get sick thinking about my younger sister now. I’ve tried finding her address to write, but I don’t even know what I would say. Last time I even heard about her she was out in Nevada sleeping with a lot of different men and doing a lot of cocaine. It’s hard to believe she was once that little girl who would cry if I got paint in her hair. She’s made it clear that she doesn’t want to be found.

The last time I laid eyes on her she was 16 and eight months pregnant. She’d moved in with her boyfriend and I was helping her move the last of her things to his trailer. She seemed so happy. She looked very peaceful; those huge glassy blue eyes watching the storm clouds roll by.

‘I really think things are going to be alright,’ she said, ‘Hal has changed so much, he’s quit drinking all together.’

‘That’s so good,’ I said, ‘That has always scared me about him. He could get so cruel sometimes if he was drunk. God, if he ever hit you I’d kill him.’

‘I believe you,’ and she laughed so nervously that my body tensed up. I should have turned the car around right then. It was none of my business, though. She was mature enough to choose to have the baby and so she was mature enough to choose how she wanted to raise it. The idea of Hal being sober somewhat quieted my worries.

‘You’ve got to keep taking care of yourself, too,’ I told her. ‘That baby boy isn’t just going to raise himself.’

‘I know, and I’m ready to be a mother. I really am.’

‘I still don’t see why you had to up and quit school and move in with him,’ I said.

It started to rain.

‘We want to be a real family,’ she said, smiling. ‘He’ll be able to take care of me better. I mean, let’s face it; I wasn’t going to graduate anyway. This way I can focus on something useful. It’ll be a brand new start for both of us.’

‘All of us,’ I said, ‘It’s not going to be the same around the apartment without you.’

‘Right, like you guys will even notice. You’re busy with school and everything, and Julie doesn’t even know I exist anymore.’

‘She’ll miss you, just wait,’ I promised.

‘Julie hates me,’ she rubbed her belly. ‘She hates me because she had to put her life aside and take care of us.’

My throat began to tighten. ‘You know that’s not true. She didn’t have to stay around. She wanted to or else she wouldn’t have.’

‘Whatever, I don’t want to talk about it.’

We silently loaded her boxes into the smoky little living room. I told her to call me if she needed anything, hugged her, and left.

She did call once. I was beating my brains out studying for the SAT’s.

‘I just really need to talk to you right now,’ she said. She sounded so small and far away.

‘I really can’t right now, Syl,’ I sighed, ‘Can I call you back a little later?’

‘I guess,’ she said and began to cry.

I hate to admit it, but despite the knot in my stomach her sobs pissed me off. It was her fault that she was in such a bad situation; she had no right to drag me down with her.

‘You promise you’ll call me back?’

‘Yeah, I promise,’ I said dryly.

And that was the last time I heard her voice.